Man Up

When I was in my early teens and playing city league baseball, I had a friend who was a pitcher.  During one particular game a struck ball came back towards him, hitting him in the shoulder.  He went down like a sack of potatoes.  The game stopped and he was helped back to the dugout where I was sitting.  My friend was hurting bad and he was crying.  As he was holding an ice bag on his shoulder his dad came into the dugout.  His dad stood over him and told him to stop crying and to Man Up.  His dad never comforted him, nor sat down beside him.  His only words were Man Up.

I tell you this story because of a response I had to my last post.  The person who responded used the words Man Up.  Now I am not sure if the person truly didn't understand my post or his response was like that of my friend's dad.  Anytime you are hurting, you need to Man Up.  Sounds simple enough, but does manning up fit ever type of hurt?

Before I answer that last question, let me first give you my definition of manning up.  A man who takes responsibility for a child he conceived in a one night stand with a woman, is manning up.  A man who works more than two jobs to take care of his family, is manning up.  A father who takes his crying child into his arms and hugs them, is manning up.  You see, what my friend's father did was not being a man.  What he thought he was doing was trying to make his son a man, and not a sissy, by telling him not to cry and to Man Up.

So to answer my question, the answer is no.  You can't tell an alcoholic to Man Up.  You surely can't tell a person trying to beat a drug addiction to Man Up.  Most definitely you wouldn't tell someone who is dealing with depression to Man Up.  What about a person who has lost a loved-one to cancer?  "Hey your loved-one is dead, you can't bring them back. So Man Up!"  Don't get me started about some father telling his thirteen year old son to Man Up.  Can you imagine Jesus telling any of the hurt people He came into contact with to Man Up.  I seriously don't think Jesus would be as popular as He is today if he acted that way.

We come into contact with people everyday with different levels of hurt.  How we approach them, and how we act towards them can make all the difference.  People don't expect answers from you; they want arms to hold them, a shoulder to lean on and an ear that listens.  They surely don't need someone telling them to Man Up.

I have been lucky to have people around me who recognize when I am hurting and give me comfort.  They may do it by providing me a song, giving me a hug or just a few encouraging words.  I know it is God working through them, because it is just what He would do.

"You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again." Psalms 71:20-21

Lightning Crashes

Oh now I feel it comin' back again,

Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind.

Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again.

I can feel it...

Those of you who know me well, know that I have a serious passion for music.  I love listening to the way lyrics are sang; trying to feel and understand what the artist/writer was trying to convey to the listener. The lyrics that I posted above come from a song called Lightning Crashes by the group Live.  These lyrics perfectly describe my life over the past year.  Just when I think things are going good, I can feel it.  I can feel that sense of an impending obstacle, a crossroads, a hindrance to my path.  So today I throw myself a pity party and your invited.

So my pity party has been going on for sometime, but lately I have been bombarded by lyrics that really puts it all in perspective.  Basically the message that has come through is this:

When you were born, no one promised you an easy road in life.

Now I know, many of you are going to say, duh, but hear me out.  When you were born, your parents  told you they would protect you, and probably for the most part many of you had parents who did just that.  Some of you, unfortunately, had parents who made that statement above clear from day one.  Yet there came a time when you were on your own.  That is when it all started to fall apart.  Okay, that is a little dramatic, but things started to happen that you weren't expecting.  that obstacle, that hindrance, that crash of lightning.  Suddenly there are bumps in your road and as life progress they seem to be more often, sometimes bigger than normal.  Wow this sucks!

Yeah, it does suck, and I am not going to sit here and say I have an answer.  Remember?  I am having a pity party.  I struggle every day looking for an answer.  As a Christian I have prayer and God's Word, but let me be honest with you...I am no where near the type of Christian who can blow through an obstacle coming out the other end feeling stronger in their faith.  Right now I have kind of parked myself in from of my obstacles hoping they might just go away.  I have a fear that if I do somehow make it through the obstacle, there will be another, and another and another..........you get my point.  Like the lyrics say above: Oh now I feel it comin' back again.  Crap.

How are you enjoying the party?  I hate it.  I hate feeling this way.  I guess I shouldn't because no one promised me an easy road.  Heck, even the Bible says once you become a Christian it gets worse; before it gets better. WHAT?!  Maybe that is what I am going through right now, the worse.  Wow, that didn't make me feel any better.  So when do I get to feel better?

I have three saving graces that keep me from drowning in my pity party.  The first is always God.  No matter how deep a valley I am in, how dark it is around me, I know He is there.  Second is my family, they are my rocks. Thirdly, strange as it may seem, is a friend of mine who I wrote about in a previous blog, the gas attendant.  These are my life lines.

So what do you get out of my pity party?  Hopefully some clarity.   Your life path is not perfect, and it won't be, so stop trying!  Stuff is going to come at you from every direction, it's going to block you and hinder you.  How you deal with it will determine if you want to have a pity party, or you want to strengthen and grow.  I have my life lines, what are yours?  Are they helping you?  If not, maybe it's time to look for new life lines.

Well, this pity party is about over.  Thanks for coming and being a part of the party.  I hope I didn't bum you out, that wasn't my point.  I have been bummed out for sometime, and it has really taken a toll on me; mentally and physically.  You don't want to be where I have been.  I want all of you to understand that no matter what comes at you, what forces are pullin' at you, there is Hope at the other end.  It takes strength and courage to move through the mess, and you don't have to do it alone.  Surround yourself with life lines and fight the good fight.